#1: I WILL QUIT MY JOB BEFORE I PAY ALIMONY/SPOUSAL SUPPORT OR CHILD SUPPORT.  The initial shock or reaction to having to pay child or spousal support can be quite alarming.  Many payors have heard horror stories about having to pay extraordinary amounts of support.  However, there is a guideline for child support calculations and factors the Court considers in awarding spousal support.  Most obligors pay court ordered support given the consequences for not paying.  Moreover, if a payor quits his job in an attempt to avoid support obligations, the Court may still hold the payor accountable for their support obligations.

#2: I WILL TELL THE COURT THAT YOU ARE AN UNFIT PARENT AND YOU WILL NEVER SEE THE CHILDREN AGAIN.  Unfortunately, children are oftentimes brought into the middle of their parents’ divorce.  Attorneys and Courts are educated about children being used to retaliate, frustrate, or hurt the other parent.  Consequently, unless credible evidence is presented concerning a parent’s mistreatment or abuse of a child, the law favors both parents having frequent and continuing contact with the children.

#3: YOU CAN NOT MAKE IT WITHOUT ME, YOU NEED ME.  Divorce can be a frightful reality no matter how long the parties have been married.  Oftentimes, one spouse is financially dependent and relies on his or her partner to maintain the majority of the household expenses.  Nonetheless, the law takes into account the disparity of income and will allocate the community income equally.  The law also gives the supported spouse the time necessary , where applicable, to obtain an education and/or training, in an effort to become self supporting.

#4: THIS HOUSE BELONGS TO ME.  I HAVE BEEN THE ONE TO WORK AND PAY FOR IT.  I WILL MAKE YOU LEAVE AND YOU WILL BE HOMELESS.  Absent a pre-marital or post-marital agreement, property acquired during the marriage is considered community property.  This is true, even if, one spouse may have been employed while the other spouse maintained the home and/or took care of the children.  In certain circumstances, even if the home was purchased prior to marriage, the community may have acquired an interest.

#5: NO ONE WILL EVER WANT YOU AFTER WE ARE DIVORCED.  Divorce is a very emotional process to get through.  Many hateful and angry words may be expressed by one or both spouses/partners.  Now is the time to lean on your supportive friends and family.  As the old adage goes, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”  Stay rooted and grounded, there is life after Divorce!