The holidays are tough especially in the midst of a divorce. Thoughts of sugar plums and reconciliation will dance in your head. However, before you dismiss your pending divorce, make sure you take a step back and really consider whether you are caught up in “the holiday cheer and fun.”

Many couples choose reconciliation and it works BUT . . . the reasons for the underlying dissolution (divorce) action must be considered. If domestic violence, drug or alcohol abuse or infidelity play a role in your reasons for seeking a divorce, then serious thought should be considered before you request to dismiss your divorce. Remember that certain issues are not cured overnight. Spouses who are emotionally and physically abusive need serious help and intervention. The same holds true for those who are addicted to drugs or alcohol. My theory on cheating, is that it is a state of mind. It is a condition that I consider a disease . . . once a cheater, always a cheater.

If you have young children, you owe it to them to give them the best loving and peaceful household as you possibly can. This may mean that you hold fast and refuse mistreatment and chaos . . . even if that means a lonely holiday. As my Grandpa always told me, “You can do bad by yourself.”